When I was a young bloke in my school days I smoked like a chimney swore like a trooper and fought like a thrashing machine..I constantly bought home notes to my long suffering Mum.Well it finally happened and I was expelled from the local public school and for discipline reasons was sent to a catholic boys college..Mum worded me up that this was my last bloody chance to be a productive member of society and if I buggered this chance up the next option was one of Her Majesty's colleges(Jail)..So off I go on my first day to the Jeebus school with a tie that was too bloody tight a blazer that was too bloody itchy a pair of shiny school shoes that were too bloody tight and a packet of marlboro reds in my top shirt pocket..Waiting at the bus stop I lit a durry and sat back to contemplate my new hellish school situation when this prefect kid comes up and says"Oi new kid you cant smoke here" to which I answered something along the lines of "Piss off narc or I'll flatten ya bloody nose"..Well he didnt and I did..Strike one as you Yanks would put it..Later morning I was called into the head principal blokes office and warned that violence was not tolerated at this school then beaten thoroughly with a thick leather strap..Seemed like double standards to me..On the way back to class with a bloody sore hand I decided "stuff it I need a smoke" and went into the shitters and lit up..Sitting there having a smoke when the bloody door flies open and heres a teacher giving me that"Your really in the shit now Mister look". Back to the office a few more cuts of the strap and I was on my way again..Lunchtime and Im behind the bike shed having a smoke when I hear someone coming so I flick my smoke through a hole in the shed and beat the teacher who walked around the corner..Sitting in class after lunch dreaming of being out in the bush running amok when the fire alarm goes off and brings me back to reality.Yup the bike shed was well alight..Yup I was caught.Yup I was expelled.Yup I was sent to a boys home*(kid jail) for 8 months for arson..Yup I gave up smoking..Not until last year though..Cheers BOOF




Boof you crazy down under Mate, I'm laughing so hard I have snot coming out of my nose, and my gut hurts. Dude you ever leave this site and I will be on a major bummer. Love ya Mate, and keep us laughing it's good for the sole!

Was driving my Dad's 66 4 door Chev Impala to the local bowling alley (told 'em I was going to the library). I had all the windows down and was smokin a Marlboro red. I flicked the butt out the window and rolled into the B-alley, parked and rolled up the windows and locked it. Wandered inside and hooked up with a coupla school buddies and just hung out drinking cokes and ogling the babes.
I hear a siren and look out the window... They're out front and... YUP! Here they come, looking for the owner of the Chevy Impala. DAMN! I ran outside, the car is FULL of smoke, ya can't even see thru it. I unlock the door and open it... WHOOSH! The flames roared out the door and burned my eyebrows off, I fell on the ground and the fire-folk pop the back door, dowse the backseat and then RIP IT OUT OF THE CAR! They put some kinda ointment on my face, stuffed the backseat back in the car and then made me fill out a form... name, phone number, address etc....
This whole time I'm thinking "My Dad is gonna KILL ME!" By the time I got home, I had a story all worked out... BUT, yep, you guessed it... They had already called the house and had told my Dad and Mom where I was, what I had said... everything.... My butt still aches when I tell the story... and yeah, I still smoke.... dumbass...
Drive Smoke Enjoy!
Edge