Modern Day Biker

  • December 7, 2009 11:48 PM PST
    I’m a modern day biker, got a scooter to prove it,
    Got ink on my arm, took 5 minutes to choose it.
     
    My putt she’s a beauty 40 grand worth of chrome,
    I didn’t know now how to ride her, so I trailered her home.
     
    I bought her on credit, accessories up the wazoo,
    Bought some worn chaps and a leather jacket on HD credit too.
     
    I got me some apes, about 3 feet tall
    They’re way over my head, can’t reach them at all.
     
    Big carb and big cam, big tire to boot,
    But I pray she don’t break cuz I can’t fix my own scoot.
     
    Couple falls, couple crashes another 5 grand in fix’n
    Now I got my permit just can’t take my little vixen.
     
    My ol lady she’s a hottie, she’ll be 18 in June,
    She loves all the chrome and now gives me the poon.
     
    I wear a bandana, all folded and pressed,
    No helmet for me, I ride to impress.
     
    I got me an attitude, I’m the baddest in town,
    But I check it at the door when real patchers are around.
     
    I bought a big knife but I leave it at home,
    I wore it out once but got in the way of my phone.
     
    I call my friends “bro” now, they got new scooters too
    We think we need an oil changed, just no sure how to.
     
    I watch Pauly and Cody and Vinny and Senior
    But I love Mikey the most, he’s the freaking ring leader.
     
    And don’t forget Jessie and his West Coast Choppers,
    Building every bikers dream, 50 thousand dollar bar hoppers.
     
    I won’t ride to Sturgis, man that’s way too far
    I’ll just load up the trailer and tow with the car.
     
    I’ll stay in a motel, five stars there’s no doubt
    One with great food and were credit has clout.
     
    I will trailer near town then jump in with some scooters
    1200 miles to drool at some girl with fake hooters.
     
    I might get my ear pierced or another tattoo
    Of skulls or of dagger or maybe F**k U
     
    If the ol lady don’t like it and thinks I’m a dope
    No problems here, it’ll wash off with soap

    Sleep on the ground! You’re kidding me right?
    Next thing you’ll want me to do is stay up n party all night.
     
    I’ll buy me a patch that says “I RODE MINE THERE”
    Who the hells gonna know, it’s a lie but who cares.
     
    Ride to live, live to ride, I got riden in my veins,
    Except when it’s too hot or too cold or windy or it rains.
     
    Yea, I’m a modern day biker, you got something to say?
    Send me an email, Ill answer someday.
    • Moderator
    • 19067 posts
    December 7, 2009 11:57 PM PST
    Sadly there is far too much truth in this.
    • Moderator
    • 1364 posts
    December 8, 2009 12:48 AM PST
    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY To much truth..
    • 5420 posts
    December 8, 2009 1:10 AM PST
      With these guys.
  • December 8, 2009 1:22 AM PST
    I've seen way to many of these types and unfortunately know a few.
    • 513 posts
    December 8, 2009 1:35 AM PST
     While very funny also sad but true!


    From the bible : "Judge not the man by his motorcycle, but judge the motorcycle by the man! "

    's true...honest ! 
  • December 8, 2009 3:39 AM PST
    Damn I know that guy!
    • 467 posts
    December 8, 2009 8:21 AM PST
    I know them too! I live 60 miles from Sturgis and I see people trailer from here! Toooo Funny! Sooo Sad!
  • December 8, 2009 9:15 AM PST
    i know someone like that!............wus! he tell us if it isnt 80 and sunny he's not riding!
  • December 8, 2009 9:25 AM PST
    You cant stand a little weather you will never ride in Montana.Gotta say who the hell rides a 50k bike anyway?I could use a loan lol!
    • 5420 posts
    December 8, 2009 9:37 AM PST
    Hell, I like going to the local bar when it's raining, I can park right by the door. I don't mind getting wet as long as it saves me some walkin' (those who know me, know how true that is)
  • December 8, 2009 9:43 AM PST
    But when they're tired of dustin' them off or need space for new toys you can steal the bikes
  • December 8, 2009 10:22 AM PST
    Wannabes seem to be more the norm anymore...........
    • 513 posts
    December 9, 2009 1:58 AM PST
    Lucky wrote...
    Hell, I like going to the local bar when it's raining, I can park right by the door. I don't mind getting wet as long as it saves me some walkin' (those who know me, know how true that is)


    Holy crap! If you did not ride in the rain in Ireland then you would have maybe two days of the year where you could ride. Even during the summer you could leave home and ten minutes later it could be raining cats and dogs.

    During the summer we had a BBQ and we had fantastic sunshine while friends of ours came from a thunder, lightening and hail storm less than 30 minutes away!

  • December 9, 2009 8:42 AM PST
    What kind of suit do you wear to protect yourself from pouring cats and dogs lol!Kevlar?
  • December 9, 2009 9:12 AM PST
    I figure I'm not the only one that has seen people unloading bikes on the side of I-90 a few miles outside Rapid City or Sturgis,so they can ride into town looking all bad...lol. I had always heard about such things,but was amazed when I saw it first hand.
    • 190 posts
    December 9, 2009 12:16 PM PST
    Nice poem. Aparently I'm not a 'modern' biker. I'm cool with that.
    • 1161 posts
    December 9, 2009 1:29 PM PST
    But when they're tired of dustin' them off or need space for new toys you can steal the bikes



     im hoping i can find one to get as my first one lol
  • December 9, 2009 3:06 PM PST
    I road to Sturgis this year on a Japanese bike. Didnt have any problems, Worst I heard was, oh, too bad, guy cant afford a Harley, I think more people road there bikes this year because of the economy and didnt want to spend the extra money on gasoline a truck and trailer would take
  • December 9, 2009 3:15 PM PST
    Have to ride in the rain, I live in Western Washington, my boss is one of them, treats his vet the same way, low hours and miles.
    • 513 posts
    December 9, 2009 5:59 PM PST
    wolfhound wrote...
    What kind of suit do you wear to protect yourself from pouring cats and dogs lol!Kevlar?


    A kennel and basket! 

  • December 10, 2009 3:59 AM PST
    20 degrees when I rode into work this morning. We've got a guy in the other office that won't ride if it gets lower than 60 outside.
  • December 10, 2009 8:29 AM PST
    ya'll need to go to www.badpig.com and get one of those "Nice Trailer, Pussy" T shirts to wear next year for Sturgis, Daytona, Fayetteville or anywhere else they trailer bikes to. Been riding bikes since 1970 and the only trailer I had to use was the Harley trailer to get my bike back to the Macon Ga. Dealership when it blew the back jug on I-75, South of Macon.....Ride Safe...
    • 3006 posts
    June 24, 2011 3:48 PM PDT
    great post !!! sad yet true,for me if I didnt ride it all the way to the rally n back, its like I never even went.