August 9, 2011 2:39 PM PDT
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it
I had amnesia once---or twice
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off
Is it me --or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.
So - Contemplate that! I’m in my own little world but it's OK, they know me here!
