Elevated Threat Levels

    • Moderator
    • 277 posts
    February 25, 2011 4:47 AM PST
    The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

    The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

    The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

    Italy has increased the alert level from  "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

    The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose".

    Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

    The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

    Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.


    • 2 posts
    February 25, 2011 5:03 AM PST
    You win!
    • 0 posts
    February 25, 2011 6:39 AM PST
    Just rang the old Prime Minister sheila.The Barbi is still on just bring your own ammo beer and a sleeping bag..CHEERS BOOF
    • Moderator
    • 1516 posts
    February 25, 2011 7:19 AM PST
    Good one HD!!
    • Moderator
    • 19067 posts
    February 25, 2011 7:42 AM PST
    WOW girl, you hit them all...
  • February 25, 2011 8:47 AM PST
    TOO FUNNY
  • February 25, 2011 2:33 PM PST
    Very clever
  • February 26, 2011 10:16 AM PST
    Love it!!!!!!
    • 202 posts
    February 26, 2011 11:25 PM PST
    And us irish folk are slurring between rounds of ale... "kiss me ass, i'm irish"
    • 601 posts
    February 28, 2011 10:29 AM PST
    LaPhoenix wrote...
    And us irish folk are slurring between rounds of ale... "kiss me ass, i'm irish"



    We'er probably the reason for the increased threat level  !!!!!