Word Play ya gotta love it...

    • Moderator
    • 19067 posts
    September 1, 2010 1:13 AM PDT
    OK being new to this humor forum here is my meager attempt...

    Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.


    A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

    Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

    Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

    Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

    A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

    A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

    Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

    Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

    Does the name Quasimodo ring a bell?


    Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

    Reading while sunbathing makes you well, red.

    When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

    A motorcycle
    can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

    What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)

    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

    She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

    A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

    If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?

    With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

    The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

    You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

    Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.

    Every calendar's days are numbered.

    A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.

    A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

    He had a photographic memory but couldn't get the film developed.

    A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

    Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

    Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

    Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

    Acupuncture is a jab well done

    • 1 posts
    September 1, 2010 1:22 AM PDT

       Those are my kinda jokes.......         What can I say... 

    • Moderator
    • 19067 posts
    September 1, 2010 1:29 AM PDT
    I have used many of these but can not take credit for the compilation. Got them in an email from a friend. Also my favorite humor, word play. One of my favorite comedians is Norm Crosby, the master of Malaprop
    • 5420 posts
    September 1, 2010 2:31 AM PDT
    Cathy wrote...

       Those are my kinda jokes.......         What can I say... 

    Yep, mine too. Funny stuff!
    • Moderator
    • 1364 posts
    September 1, 2010 3:05 AM PDT
    Great Job Rex................................... 
    • 0 posts
    September 1, 2010 8:15 AM PDT
    Very good Mate..........lol
  • September 1, 2010 9:49 AM PDT
    Poultry in Motion.......LOLOLOL Good stuff!
  • September 1, 2010 9:52 AM PDT
    waiting for the second installment!
    • Moderator
    • 1516 posts
    September 1, 2010 10:25 AM PDT
    ATTA BOY Mike.. that was a great post.. you are really catchin on to this humor posting!!
  • September 2, 2010 5:31 AM PDT
    debrajo62 wrote...
    ATTA BOY Mike.. that was a great post.. you are really catchin on to this humor posting!!



    What she daid. LOL!

  • September 4, 2010 2:07 AM PDT
    As I have seen the years pass somethings seem to strike my attention, and mybe yours also.

      When camping the sexual intercourse seems more in tents.. JMHO Howard  
                                                                                 
    • Moderator
    • 19067 posts
    September 4, 2010 2:43 AM PDT
    Good one Howard!!!!