A German competitor was lost, and wanted directions to the Olympic village in Stratford, London. He was standing outside East Ham tube station when he saw two lads walking by so he stops them and asks,

'Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?'

The two lads look at each other blankly and stare back at the German.

'Excusez-moi, parlez vous Français?' He tries.

The two continue to stare.

'Parlare Italiano?' Still absolutely no response from the two lads.

'Hablan ustedes Espanol?' The London lads remain totally silent.

The German Olympian walks off extremely disappointed and downhearted that he had not been understood. One of the boys turns to the second and says, 'You know, maybe we should learn a foreign language!'

'Why?' says the youth, 'That German guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good!'



It's 2012 and it's the Olympics in London.
A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they haven't got tickets.

The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate.
" McTavish, Scotland" he says, "Discus" and in he walks.

The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his shoulder.
" Waddington-Smythe, England" he says, "Pole vault" and in he walks.

The Irishman looks around and picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm.
“O'Malley, Ireland" he says, "Fencing."

At least he didn't go for skulling!!!

.....and y'know what, traffic on my street has increased by 4 times as many a day already, most roads into, and through central have now been blocked to one lane-and that one lane will be blocked on sunday for the whole duration.....unless.....You happen to be someone competing.....most of the bigger roads now have olympic rings painted on the road - just for competitors!!!

YES, We the people are P*ssed off!!!!!

...For me to just pop round to a friends place will incur a journey of close to 28 miles...they live less than 3 miles away!!!

WHY? WHY did London have to ask for it? It certainly was not the people in the street who asked for it.....ask anyone!!!!!

Ya know Jetman, I wondered the same thing; "Why"? $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ mainly but hell, it's only an island. I can only imagine how frustrating it's gonnna be for the locals.

Oh Slick, you should try not to be so p*ssed about and consider the honor of your city hosting one of the worlds best events and the worlds greatest young athletes. We had them here in L.A. and yes it caused major traffic problems, but it was a month or two out of probably my entire lifetime (although I hope it makes it back again) and it was great to see our area in the world spotlight - for something positive for a change.

I was lucky enough to make a few of the events and the closing ceremony. It was a great feeling to here the USA... USA chants and to hear our National Anthem being played in person, on our soil, as a medal was given to one of our athletes.

I agree Lucky...but here? in London?  They couldn't take it out of town to a less populated area?

You wont see much of Londoners cheering...There is a massive tension building in all parts of London...

For the last 3 months we have been running tests..... I live under the flightpath to Northolt Aerodrome...This was the WW2,  303rd Polish Fighter Squadron Base during the "Battle of Britain", that Polish Squadron scored the highest ratio of kills, the lowest score of deaths, and attained many many medals of honour.....

THAT airbase has now become home to 4 Eurofighter "Typhoons" that have orders to shoot to kill any aircraft straying from its flightpath anywhere around London, if one takes off from Londons Heathrow Airport and does not immediately turn 90 degrees North it will be shot down over a heavily populated area of London, also, the brand new Super Lynx choppers all equipped with snipers who are under orders to shoot to kill any appointed target, also, the new Merlin choppers, same thing, but equipped with 50 cal snipers to take out any suspect vehicles that are taken into London, also, we have the Ghurka's shipped in to be airlifted and dropped by Chinooks directly where they may be needed in London - based at Northolt, also, Assault Choppers (Apache Longbow) distributed all around London, ALSO, On the tops of very many tower blocks and high buildings all across and around London are now fitted with REMOTE CONTROL MISSILE SILO's.....

With a population of 14 MILLION static INSIDE the Metropolitan Area (Biggest Population in Europe per capital), with planes, helicopters, assault helicopters, missile silo's all just waiting to shoot down ANY vehicles that 'stray' into a no-go area, deliberate or accidental, there is going to be MASS MURDER on an unprecedented scale ANYWHERE in the WORLD!!!



So...what with Heathrow Airport Customs Officials NOT doing all neccesary checks on luggage as there are full flights coming in every minute of the day (Busiest Airport in the World for number of passengers per city- 4 airports combined), ALSO, Immigration Department is under staffed and has been allowing free access to passengers without full security checks - News Reports MUST have made the WORLD NEWS Right?  Its known that fake passports are being presented and they are STILL BEING LET IN????



You wanna come live here for the next while?  I'LL SWAP WITH YOU RIGHT NOW!!!!!

Thought this started as a humor topic by rory.

Some people just ain't happy unless they have something to complain about!!!

Me and you is together on that GoFur.....trust them whinging Brits and them pussies from California to spoil a good skit.....can ya just imagine going hunting with them....probably whine about cruelty to animals or some such political correct bullshit.... Texas and Ireland just have to unify and fck the rest of the world !!!!!! (actually, that may not be a bad idea).....................

love the jokes ,lol..its all over hype ,cant be botherd with all ,how much this costing us ???

team GB ??? EH ,,dont think so .

SCOTLAND FOOTBALL WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH TEAM GB ... well done to sfa .

same as scotland want f,all to do with england ,but they need us .

In some ways I agree with you g, I am still wondering what will happen to the "British Empire" when Scotland does get its Independance.....and that must surely only be a matter of time now...I have friends all over Scotland...and although they accept me (fools...lol...) they want Independance ... and that is the people speaking, not some politician...main areas of friends seem to be in Elgin, Glasgow, Stirling and Edinburgh...often meet up when they are down this way, and/or I am up that way, did the "Wild Cat Rally" a few years ago at John O'Groats...then it was the following weekend down in southern tip of Cornwall for the Knights rally "Square Table"...lol...

and I had someone here in London telling me that my "Big Yellow" never see's any road miles...lol...

lol,all good then jet ,next time ur in aberdeen look me up ,ask any biker where u can get a hold of g ,sure u will find me bro .

u will find me at hein gericke in aberdeen ,or go on sfom on face book ,its a wee site i run for bikers .

u will find me at hein gericke in aberdeen ,or go on sfom on face book ,its a wee site i run for bikers .

u will find me at hein gericke in aberdeen ,or go on sfom on face book ,its a wee site i run for bikers .

3 times? ya must have been eating pickles...lol...

I dont ever use FARCEbook mate, never, I added a contact page for Colossus, but thats it...its just so that if anyone wants to make contact with regard to a potential booking for the jet trike they can find details there on how to find me via You Tube...Having checked out FARCEbook and found out what kind of people bought it there is no way I would have anything to do with it...

Aberdeen eh? definately not impossible to go to...lol...and hey, if you ever get South of the wall make sure I know about it ok? but yeah, next trip up maybe I should vary my route a few degrees and do the route further East on way through...