Needed to cheer myself up.  Some of these made my nite....

1). Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

2). The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

3). Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4). Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

5). I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

6). If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

7). If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
 
8). If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

9). If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...

And one for the road...
10). Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. 

Hope that at least made Ya'll smile...

Ride Free 
Tweek

 

OMG.... those were hillarious!! I have to remember #7... that was my favorite!! LOL

great list!!!

+1

I like #5, Thanks Tweek.

yes...number 1..true, number 2 true, number 6 oh so very true....number 7 i don't want to know.....and i'm always entertaining,lol

Now that's funny...especially #3

OMG!!! Debra

roflmao Tweek thanks for the laughs,and Debra too !!!

Whoops.... I meant #4 was my favorite.... I had to just read these again... LOL Hehehe.... @ Debra's pic....

D.J.,....we talked about this.  I don't know a thing about that.  See?  That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.  Ummm, maybe the phrase "stickin' to it" might not be good, when we're talkin' about farts...huh? 
Oh crap...I mean, shit, I mean...damn!  
Oh you, and your little dog, too!!!  

Where's the freakin' toilet paper...and the air freshner???

Ride Free 
Tweek

ohyeah.... definitely made me grin... a guffah or three... Thanx Tweek... How's the roommate 'thing' playing out?
Edge Walker

Perfect way to begin the afternoon! Thinkin Im gonna like it here! lmao!