January 23, 2012 6:56 AM PST
My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning, can you believe that..... 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my drum set.
Man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator says how do you know? He says "The sex is the same but the laundry is building up!"
I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest ‘unit’ she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg."
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my ass! Do you think I should change dentists?
A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.
I was explaining to my girl friend last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening. "
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back.
Yeah, I know... Some were real 'Groaners'... Thanx for reading tho... I laffed at them... 'course, I'm kinda twisted
Hope ya liked a few and that they made ya grin at least...
Edge Walker
January 23, 2012 7:10 AM PST
I swear I can hear Henny Youngman. Great one liners...
January 23, 2012 7:25 AM PST
oh my lord..they are getting worse..i feel like i'm in a bad episode of last comic standing.......uuuuuuhhhhh...you know i love you right?..hahahahahaha......keep em coming..you know i'm a little twisted too...(that's why i keep reading them)
January 23, 2012 8:36 AM PST
Don't stop now Edge they are getting better
January 23, 2012 9:02 AM PST
As usual Edge ! Freakn' Hilarious !!! Keep 'em coming!
January 23, 2012 9:27 PM PST
Got too 'em today....they work just as well on Tuesday mornin'....buahaahaaahaaaa!!!!
Ride Free
Tweek
January 23, 2012 9:42 PM PST
Lol great 1 liners!
January 24, 2012 1:27 AM PST
Nuttin better than a one-liner .. 'ceptin maybe a bunch of one-liners.
January 24, 2012 4:19 AM PST
LOL throughly enjoyed em !! thanks for the laughs,I may steal a couple
January 24, 2012 4:51 AM PST
I needed that right now!
January 24, 2012 5:25 AM PST
LOL. : )
January 24, 2012 11:13 AM PST
Those are just wrong, funny but wrong
January 25, 2012 6:01 AM PST
<<<< another twisted individual..... keep 'em comming!! LOL
January 25, 2012 7:33 AM PST
I was explaining to my girl friend last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening. "
ahahahahahaha.. yikes.. he never heard the shot.. Very good, thanks EW
January 25, 2012 7:56 AM PST
They're great Edge, I needed a good laugh today.
Medic
