January 19, 2012 12:32 PM PST
THE OFFICIAL MALE SENSITIVITY TEST
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
A. Lovemaking.
B. Screwing.
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.
3. You time your orgasm so that:
A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously
C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife needs to ever find out about.
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.
6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month.
You tell her that it is:
A. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym
C. A conservative estimate
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
A. A myth.
B. An oxymoron.
C. A moron.
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
A. An appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
A. "I hope we can still be friends."
B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
C. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU."
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
Evaluating Results:
If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure
you really ARE a man.
If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy. You're a little confused.
If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!!"
January 19, 2012 12:57 PM PST
OMG, those were both funny..
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.
ahahahahahah
January 19, 2012 5:18 PM PST
Awww Savage! Those are great! Laffed hard at most of 'em... I was kinda taken aback when I realized I have become more of a "C" guy than I used to be... 'cept for 3 & 8, they are both B... What? TMI....?
Thanx for sharing...
Edge... Da Man!
January 20, 2012 11:19 AM PST
A drunk woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City . The taxi driver, who happened to be an old Jewish man, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab.
She said to him, "What's wrong with you honey? Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"
The old man said "Lady, I'm not staring at you, I am telling you, that would not be proper where I come from".
She said, "Well, if you're not staring at my boobs sweetie, what are you doing then?"
He said, "Well, I am looking and I'm looking, and I am thinking to myself, where is this lady keeping her money to pay for this ride."
January 20, 2012 12:11 PM PST
Savage, I thought those were great!! But it just hit me, I might have Jewish realitives in my bloodline. LOL
Medic
